SGA vignette: "Precession"

[kageygirl]

Bless me, fandom, for I have sinned. It has been not long enough too long since my last confession.

Vignette (which be French for "not actually a story"), wicked short, contains no dialogue, no plot, and especially no porn, and was essentially just a writing exercise for practicing McKay voice.

Introspection. With planetary motion metaphors. *embarrassed chuckle*

I post it anyway, in the hopes of possibly briefly amusing some of y'all what's likewise having a rough time of late.

Strangely enough (to me), I did the rough stream-of-consciousness draft before "Trinity" aired. No spoilers for that here, but I was briefly happy and validated under the omg Rodney angst of the episode. *g*


Precession

It's a fact of Rodney's life--not a sad fact, please, just a fact; not everything needs to be reduced to some sort of Greek tragedy--that he's learned how to relish things quickly. If he dawdles over a piece of pie or a cup of coffee, he might miss out on getting seconds, and Rodney's an absolute fiend for seconds.

Sheppard, on the other hand, seems to dawdle over everything. Rodney would suspect that the man didn't have a setting higher than "slow," if he hadn't seen him under fire, literally and figuratively, as often as he had (which was really far too often, but currently beside the point).

Rodney hardly understands him; the thought of missing out on something of interest is complete anathema to him. But Sheppard idles over things like he's learned a secret about them, and he seems to be unwilling to share that secret, but possibly he'd be happy to sit with you while you learned it yourself.

There's been an unspeakably frustrating amount of idling happening recently.

Rodney is in no way opposed to depth of knowledge, mind you; one doesn't become the foremost expert on a single subject, let alone the myriad of subjects with which Rodney is conversant, without some serious dedication and investment of time. But lately, he just hasn't been able to tell exactly what Sheppard is ruminating about; Rodney just looks up, and catches Sheppard watching him with a knowing smirk, and feels like he's missing the joke.

He'd hate that feeling even more than he already does if so many of the jokes didn't turn out to be puerile and uninspired. But Sheppard's particular reverie gives him pause.

Rodney wants to rail at him that they have to keep going, push the boundaries, reset the limits of their knowledge. He needs to keep moving, and Sheppard, without saying anything at all, damn him, anything that Rodney could refute with implacable logic, seems to exhort him to slow down, to savor the moment, to just be unnervingly still for a little while.

Rodney wants to be able to say that he ignores that pointless, tacit, arguably dangerous and irresponsible advice, and just keeps right on pressing onward. But though Sheppard seems to be standing still, Rodney never seems to get all that far away from him, relatively speaking. In a disturbing moment of sentimental metaphoric projection, it occurs to Rodney that one of them might well be orbiting the other.

"Disturbing," that is, because Rodney suspects that he may be the moving body captured and brought to heel by Sheppard's gravity. And the worst part, the absolute worst part of it is that while Rodney's well aware that certain of his colleagues would theatrically feign dying of shock at the thought that Rodney didn't consider himself to be the center of every possible universe, metaphorical or not...

Rodney isn't convinced that he minds this ordering of his personal cosmos.

Because sometimes--though it's completely insane for Rodney to even consider this--Sheppard seems to be dawdling because he's waiting for Rodney to catch up.

And sometimes--though it's even less likely, dependent upon Rodney's uncertain reading of a tilt of the head, or the ghost of a smile--he thinks that Sheppard might almost be waiting for Rodney to lead the way.

***


Apropos of nothing, I would like to thank ThinkGeek.com for enlivening my afternoon, with their ever-enthralling collection of items both "omg, that's just too funny--I kinda want it" and "omg, that's just so geeky--I really, really, REALLY want it. Really."

Comments

[regann]

Okay. I heart your vignette, especially the gravity metaphor.

Not only because it works but because it puts me into mind of a very nice song I love called "Gravity." Which would actually fit this vignette, sorta. /off topic

The Rodney voice is very good, too; you did a good job with that and I continue to like your stuff enough to get over my deep-rooted dislike of things written in present tense. XD

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you!

my deep-rooted dislike of things written in present tense. XD

LOL! I knew there was some element of depravity I had forgotten to confess. (I really don't do it all the time, honest. *g*)

[regann]

LOL. It's okay. *g* Sometimes I know it works better with the story but I just have a hard time with it, especially in longer stuff.

I think it actually works well here, though, which is why I can read it without letting it side-track me.

LOL. I'd hate to have to list all my fic-writing sins. XD

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Is the song by Vienna Teng? *Is curious*

[shetiger.livejournal.com]

*blesses you*

So how have you sinned lately? *listens attentively*

Go forth and sin again.

(This lovely little vingnette really did make the evening better, darling.)

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

I coveted--there was coveting. (Omg MP3-player sunglasses!) And had impure thoughts. (Um, all of them.) And lust, there was some definite lust happening. (Charisma Carpenter, bikini) Sloth! I was slothful. (Goofed around watching TV...)

Wow, that list just keeps going...

(And I'm so glad! *hugs you* I promise there's actual porn happening elsewhere. And real fic. Though possibly not both in the same piece. *g*)

[shetiger.livejournal.com]

Sweeet list! *takes notes for future, esp. that CC part*

(Pffft! As if you could write fake fic. Wait! Don't take that as a challenge!)

(And wheee porn!)

(This is a non-comment pretending to be a comment!)

[stillane.livejournal.com]

Really liked this, particularly the last three lines.

And yes, you should definitely sin with greater frequency (hey, as long as we're going with physics terms here :> )

[fenris_wolf0]

Oh that was a perfect, perfect vignette: I generally don't appreciate these very short stories, but this was a superior example with so many interesting ideas that you made it completely worthwhile.

Great job!

[zoerayne]

Absolutely lovely Rodney voice.

[teaphile.livejournal.com]

The first three paragraphs manage to capture such excellent insight into both characters. Very nice.

[ship-recs.livejournal.com]

Wonderful. I love the last two lines.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

I really love this! As much as I hate people commenting with their own work, I have to say that seeing them like this made me write the cat comparison but planets orbiting are just much cooler. It also makes me think of the fable of the rabbit and the turtle, only John is not cheating, and it's so nice to see Rodney secretly admitting that he does not mind.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Shaka BOOM I want that too, the first because it's just too cute, the second because headphones never really press into my ears enough to get the full sound, and unless it's winter (wooly hats) - although this year was cold enough but I digress - there is no way to hold them in place properly, so this might work.

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

this is delicious. i love how much this observation says about rodney and john: "But Sheppard idles over things like he's learned a secret about them, and he seems to be unwilling to share that secret, but possibly he'd be happy to sit with you while you learned it yourself."

the way you've layered rodney's thoughts and feelings here is lovely. the inevitable collision of stillness and movement will be quite something. *bg*

ps. and hee! thank you for the link.....the tiki drive just cracks me up completely. and if i end up humming "the tikki room" today i'm going to be a bit worried. meep.

[sffan.livejournal.com]

This is fabulous.

[wpadmirer.livejournal.com]

I really like this, Kagey. I've been thinking about the way that different people I know write, and it's fascinating to see how each of them treats the same characters.

You have a very distinctive "voice" about your work.

WP

[hetrez.livejournal.com]

This is lovely. I especially like the line: In a disturbing moment of sentimental metaphoric projection, it occurs to Rodney that one of them might well be orbiting the other. It's a beautiful metaphor that I absolutely was not expecting, and it's also perfectly in Rodney's voice. This makes me happy.

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's just perfect! Lovely peek into Rodney's head.

[ltlj.livejournal.com]

Yay for sinning! I enjoyed this too.

[delurker.livejournal.com]

This is really nice! I found myself reading it really slowly, just so I could keep it for longer.

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

In a disturbing moment of sentimental metaphoric projection, it occurs to Rodney that one of them might well be orbiting the other.

Yes, yes, yes, YES! You've hit it. Lovely.

[hinokumo.livejournal.com]

Oh, WOW! This vignette kicked ASS!

Because sometimes--though it's completely insane for Rodney to even consider this--Sheppard seems to be dawdling because he's waiting for Rodney to catch up.

I'm feeling so much squee for this :D Not to mention it's PERFECT Rodney! Awesome!

[farwing.livejournal.com]

I love this. *hugs*

[miera-c.livejournal.com]

essentially just a writing exercise for practicing McKay voice

You need to practice on perfection? ;)

*goes off humming "Nobody Does It Better"*

[sarren.livejournal.com]

Loves. Loves. Loves.

[randommagic.livejournal.com]

First of all omg! I want those glasses! *g*

I love your not-really-a-story, and I think you should write lots more! It perfectly captures the two of them and the way they are just drawn to each other. The introspection really seems to suit Rodney, and it fits in so well with what happens in Trinity. :)

[cedara]

Nice one! :)

[reedfem.livejournal.com]

That was great with all the contemplation and the metaphors and theories and stuff. So that's one Hail Rodney for your sins.

And omg, the sunglasses. I wouldn't buy them for myself, but as a gift that would totally rock. ::counts days til birthday:: John would SO have some.

[wychwood]

That's... I really like that. It's exactly what a vignette should be :) And I can kind of see it, too. Rodney dashing around, and Sheppard waiting patiently. Yeah. This works for me.

[fannishnonsense]

Oh yeah, that's Rodney.

[teza.livejournal.com]

*points* What they said.

[svmadelyn.livejournal.com]

Oh, that was just really lovely.

[shoe-buckle.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed this very much, and I have to tell you that the first line? I read it as "not everything needs to be reduced to some sort of Geek tragedy".

[bluestarmuse.livejournal.com]

This is a very lovely introspection. +smiles+

Thanks muchly for sharing.

^_^

[minnow1212.livejournal.com]

>but possibly he'd be happy to sit with you while you learned it yourself.<

What a lovely reading of Sheppard. I like this insight into him.

[the-green-sheep.livejournal.com]

Aw. It's beautiful. And extremely true to their characters. I loved it.

[ellex42.livejournal.com]

I love you desperately for feeding my word-starved self with the lovely vocab!porn. It may be hard to believe, but there's a part of me that just squees with pleasure at seeing words spelled and used correctly: vignette, which actually refers to illustrations; ruminating, and puerile, and reverie (it's the correct spelling on that one that excites me); exhort (ooh, you don't see that one very often) and tacit; feign...

*sob* I work with people who think 'finagle' is spelled 'finangle', and who think that a 'tong' is a type of shoe or skimpy underwear, and that you pronounce the 's' on the end of 'Illinois'.

So thanks, and hey! The story is lovely, too.

[monanotlisa.livejournal.com]

I second that. *g*

[coreopsis.livejournal.com]

oh, that's wonderful. The metaphor is lovely, as is the Rodney voice. :)

[fatuorum.livejournal.com]

Such a deft touch at the end, bringing everything to light... and not. *g* I love the character insights, and the idea of a frustrated little Rodney-moon orbiting Planet!Shep erratically because he couldn't quite figure out the gravitational pull makes me oddly happy. Thank you for sharing this!

[monanotlisa.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's lovely -- excellent metaphor and a great Rodney POV.

[libra-traveller.livejournal.com]

I have to agree with what everyone has said so far, this was lovely. It's always nice to read a metaphor that so fits the characters. Also, you can always get better, and if practice makes you come up with something like this, I definitely endorse it.

This was my favorite line, "And sometimes--though it's even less likely, dependent upon Rodney's uncertain reading of a tilt of the head, or the ghost of a smile--he thinks that Sheppard might almost be waiting for Rodney to lead the way."

I can completely see that happening. I can also see John smiling when Rodney finally gets it.