FLASHFIC: Touch-Up Ironing May Be Required (Sanctuary, G-rated, Henry & Will)

[kageygirl]

Sanctuary, Henry & Will, 950 words. For the "clothing" challenge at sfaflashfic.

Summary: Among the many publications in which their work will never be featured are JAMA, Technology Review, and Good Housekeeping.


Touch-Up Ironing May Be Required


Just as Henry's about to get cozy with some nonlethal weapon specs sent over by their contact in the Pentagon, Will walks into his lab with one of Henry's handheld motion detectors in one hand and what looks like a balled-up button-down shirt in the other. "Hey, welcome back. How'd it go?"

Will blinks a couple times behind his glasses, like the question just totally threw him. "Uh... well?"

"You maybe want to try that again, make it less convincing?"

Henry holds out his hand for his baby, and Will hands it over with a half-smile. "Sorry. We got the thing--Ashley and the Big Guy are putting it to bed--and I'm just beginning to realize how much money I'm going to have to start spending on new clothes."

"Why?" Henry asks, as he slides the motion detector into a charger. Will unballs the shirt and shows off a blue-black sludge stain across the back, and Henry waves him off. "Ah, that'll come out."

"Really? I don't think they make 'Tide for Demon-Dog Goo.'" Will wads up the shirt again, careful not to touch the sludge.

Henry considers him for a second, then claps his hands together and points at Will with both hands. "You're new."

"Yeah, I get that reminded of that every day."

"No, no, I mean, you just moved in. Nobody showed you the laundry room yet, did they?"

Now Will's frowning at him funny. "Uh, the Big Guy told me where it is..."

"Not the same." Henry shoves himself out of his chair and slaps Will on the shoulder as he passes. "Come on, field trip."

---

Will slows down when they enter the laundry room, staring around him, and Henry tries to see it through the eyes of someone who's never been in there before. There's a deep sink and a folding table near the door, and one wall has the big industrial machines, a smaller residential-type washer-dryer set, and a high-pressure steam washer that the doc put in when Ashley was a teenager and started regularly coming home covered in things like dirt and blood and, on one memorable occasion, the contents of an entire Slurpee machine.

The van smelled like Blue Raspberry for a week.

The rest of the place looks like an art studio and a chem lab got freaky after too many wine coolers. There's all kinds of detergent, and then there's jars and vials and test-tube racks and beakers and measuring cups up on the walls, a whole rainbow's worth of colors, and every few feet of counter has a glass jar with a bunch of different paint brushes drying in them.

So, yeah, maybe it does look a little weird.

Henry grabs one of the larger brushes from the jar next to the sink, then pulls a big conical Pyrex flask off the lowest shelf and hands them both to Will. "Okay, start with this. You're gonna want gloves, though, in the drawer behind you."

Will looks down at the faintly purple liquid and tilts the flask enough to watch it ooze up the side, thicker than water. "What the hell is it?"

Henry crosses his arms and grins at Will. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Yeah, though I'm positive I'll wish you hadn't as soon as you tell me." Will looks totally suspicious, which means he's definitely learning.

Henry can't help bouncing on his toes, 'cause he's already figured out a few things about the new guy, one of which is that he's really not fond of creature goop. "Sorkel spit."

Will's eyes go real big and round. "Excuse me?"

"Spit. Saliva. Seriously diluted, I mean, but yeah."

Will sets the flask down quickly and gently at the same time, like it's going to wake up and/or explode if he holds onto it too long. "You're not serious."

"Dude, this is the best thing we have for getting out all kinds of bodily fluids. According to the doc, it's the digestive enzymes. Something about breaking down the protein bonds..." Will starts frowning at him, and Henry shakes his head. "Don't look at me, I'm not the chemical guy. I do things with wires and circuit boards, not protein bonds and... other things the chemical guy would know about, which I don't, because I'm not the chemical guy."

Oh, that wasn't an 'I disagree with your science' kind of frown, it was a 'please stop talking about gross things' kind of frown. Henry shrugs and says, "Listen, you are gonna get barfed on a lot. It's probably best if you just accept that right now."

Will just looks seriously creeped out. But he spreads his shirt out on the counter and picks the flask back up, and Henry nods at him.

"So, yeah, start with the sorkel spit, and if that doesn't work, see that binder up there? It lists a whole bunch of other stuff to try. Don't forget the gloves."

"Thanks. I think." Will smiles over at him and says, "Is it too late for me to just go back to a normal life?"

"Yep. You're in our world now." Henry nods at him. "That's from this MMO..." He waves a hand when Will starts looking confused. "Never mind. Sorkel spit, rinse it off, throw it in the washer. If that doesn't work, check the binder. And have fun."

He turns to go, but Will calls out to him. "Henry? Thanks, man."

"No problem. But, hey, enjoy being the new guy while it lasts."

"Yeah? How's that?"

Henry crosses his arms and grins at Will, letting it get just the tiniest bit evil. "Well, one day you're going to learn how to collect sorkel spit."

Comments

[shadecat.livejournal.com]

LOL.. loved it.

[kuwdora.livejournal.com]

OMG THIS IS PERFECT

Blue Raspberry smelling van! oh GOD what a picture of Ashley and a slurpee machine and... god knows what else.

and your henry voice is PERFECT

and omg that last line is KILLER

[diamondinsanity.livejournal.com]

So that's how their clothes stay so clean.
They have a potions lab in their basement.

[malnpudl.livejournal.com]

HEEE! :-D

Perfect last line.

[penknife.livejournal.com]

Hee! I love this.