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(not for fun; it's 'cause, in New England, the temperature can vary by 20 degrees over the course of a day, and I need to know which twenty.)
1) Hearing the word "brutal" used in conjunction with local weather is never a good thing.
2) I will never in my life move to International Falls, MN, "The Icebox of the Nation."
3) If Mike Seidel is reporting live from your neck of the woods, you're kinda hosed. It's really not pleasant outside.
4) If Jim Cantore is reporting live from your neck of the woods, grab the kids and throw the dog into the car, because your neck of the woods is about to get blown apart, washed away, buried under snow, and/or set on fire. Jim Cantore is the meteorological harbinger of fuckedness.
(Actual conversation:
Me: Oh, shit.
The Boy: What?
Me: Jim Cantore's in Salem. [about 30 minutes north of us.]
The Boy: Oh, shit.
[Then we had a nor'easter!])
Whether Jim Cantore is a crazy-ass masochist or simply did something to piss off upper management has not been determined.
4a) LL Bean is totally the way to go for weatherproof outerwear, because that's what Jim Cantore is always wearing.
5) "Nor'easter" is winter's way of saying, "You're all morons for living in the Northeast."
6) Marshall Seese is goofy, but affable and mostly innocuous. He also knows that Louisville is properly pronounced as a single syllable ("lhoovhl").
7) Heather Tesch. on the other hand, is just irritating. And even though I've watched her be pregnant twice (not "get pregnant," thank goodness), I really couldn't care less about her offspring.
8) Nicole Mitchell is acceptable. Her Barbie-doll expression frightens me a little, but she's an Air Force reservist who flies into storms aboard hurricane-hunting planes. I give her points for that.
9) Bob Stokes is the whitest Asian man on broadcast television. Possibly the whitest Asian man in America.
10) If I ever meet anyone involved in the production or marketing of "HeadOn," I will surely apply something directly to their forehead. And it will surely not be intended to relieve pain.
What I learned watching the Weather Channel this morning: tomorrow is supposed to be the coldest it's been since January 2005! I was all, "You mean, 'in a minus twenty wind chill, exposed skin will get frostbitten in 10-15 minutes!' January 2005? *whimpers*"
The Boy's coming back from West Palm Beach today. I should not be sadistically delighted that he'll be here for the cold...
1) Hearing the word "brutal" used in conjunction with local weather is never a good thing.
2) I will never in my life move to International Falls, MN, "The Icebox of the Nation."
3) If Mike Seidel is reporting live from your neck of the woods, you're kinda hosed. It's really not pleasant outside.
4) If Jim Cantore is reporting live from your neck of the woods, grab the kids and throw the dog into the car, because your neck of the woods is about to get blown apart, washed away, buried under snow, and/or set on fire. Jim Cantore is the meteorological harbinger of fuckedness.
(Actual conversation:
Me: Oh, shit.
The Boy: What?
Me: Jim Cantore's in Salem. [about 30 minutes north of us.]
The Boy: Oh, shit.
[Then we had a nor'easter!])
Whether Jim Cantore is a crazy-ass masochist or simply did something to piss off upper management has not been determined.
4a) LL Bean is totally the way to go for weatherproof outerwear, because that's what Jim Cantore is always wearing.
5) "Nor'easter" is winter's way of saying, "You're all morons for living in the Northeast."
6) Marshall Seese is goofy, but affable and mostly innocuous. He also knows that Louisville is properly pronounced as a single syllable ("lhoovhl").
7) Heather Tesch. on the other hand, is just irritating. And even though I've watched her be pregnant twice (not "get pregnant," thank goodness), I really couldn't care less about her offspring.
8) Nicole Mitchell is acceptable. Her Barbie-doll expression frightens me a little, but she's an Air Force reservist who flies into storms aboard hurricane-hunting planes. I give her points for that.
9) Bob Stokes is the whitest Asian man on broadcast television. Possibly the whitest Asian man in America.
10) If I ever meet anyone involved in the production or marketing of "HeadOn," I will surely apply something directly to their forehead. And it will surely not be intended to relieve pain.
What I learned watching the Weather Channel this morning: tomorrow is supposed to be the coldest it's been since January 2005! I was all, "You mean, 'in a minus twenty wind chill, exposed skin will get frostbitten in 10-15 minutes!' January 2005? *whimpers*"
The Boy's coming back from West Palm Beach today. I should not be sadistically delighted that he'll be here for the cold...
