Bibliocrack!

Yes, yes, I am bored at work. And then this crossed my desk.

From the omgwtfpolarbear archives, How to Attain and Practice the Ideal Sex Life: Ideal Sex and Love Relations for Every Married Man and Woman, by Dr. J. Rutgers, copyright 1940.

Right there on the title page: "Intended for Circulation among Mature Persons only." Clearly, I've already failed the first test.

(and before y'all start laughing at the bizarre sexual theories of mid-twentieth-century Americans, this is a translation from "Das Sexualleben in seiner biologischen Bedeutung." *winks and waves to all the Germans*)

Flipping through the table of contents:

Part II. SEX HEALTH AND THE PERFECT SEX ACT: Physiology and Practice by Married Lovers

*snickers*

Things I will not read based on the TOC:

Ch.15 The Three Human Excretory Products
-Surprising Effects of Yoghurt and Oil of Turpentine

um, eww.

Random excerpts (which I was going to MSTie, but the transcribing wore me out. Y'all should feel free, though, if you want. *g*):

Ch.27: ( HOW TO OVERCOME PHYSICAL HINDRANCES TO THE PRACTICE OF THE IDEAL SEX ACT BY MARRIED LOVERS )

Ch.57: ( THE ART OF LOVE-MAKING FOR DIFFERENT AGES AND TYPES OF MEN AND WOMEN. IDEAL SEX TECHNIQUES FOR MARRIED LOVERS )

...

Just goes to show, sometimes the crack gets more potent with age.

Kids, don't try this punctuation at home, either, for indeed it can be found to be of the suck.