Gratuitous Atlantis snark ('cause there's not enough of THAT...)

[kageygirl]

Silly little snippet. Kind of spawned by conversations with alyse and wickdzoot, which should in no way be construed as me blaming them for it, because I wouldn't do that to them. I'm weird without outside intervention.


"Right. I'm gonna be--over here?--trying not to think about how much you suck."

"I do not suck."

"You suck like a Hoover. You suck like a--a giant sucking thing."

"It's not going to be true just because you keep saying it."

"Oh, please, Major--bad things gravitate to you. You're like a strange attractor for universal ill will."

"Much as I'm enjoying this, McKay, feel free to stop any time now. This is not my fucking fault."

"How is this not your fault?"

"I was just trying to talk to the nice people. You were the one making color commentary about everything I said."

"Well, pardon me for trying to interject a little clarity into the conversation. You're not always the most articulate negotiator."

"And you're not really saddled with an overabundance of charm, are you?"

"I wouldn't need to be charming if you weren't always pissing off the natives."

"I did not piss off the natives."

"If they hadn't thought you were going to hit me, they wouldn't have thrown us in here."

"I wasn't going to hit you."

"Well, of course I know that. But Teyla was obviously understating the point when she said the people here were 'a little touchy.'"

"I think the exact words she used were 'wary of confrontation.'"

"Close enough."

"It takes two to tango, Rodney. You're not the least confrontational guy I know."

"So now you're saying this is my fault."

"... I'm not saying anything, Rodney."

"But you're clearly thinking it."

"What I'm thinking... is that we need to stop bitching at each other and start making nice, or the Devallans might not let us out of here."

"I can't believe they actually gave us a time out. In a holding cell."

"On the up side, we've been in worse holding cells."

"How is that relevant?"

"Pardon me for trying to look on the bright side."

"Does 'the bright side' look anything like us getting out of here soon? Because as cozy as this, I'd really be a lot more comfortable not being trapped in an enclosed space. Particularly with you."

"Rodney. Stop. They're not going to let us out if they think we're still fighting."

"Great, just great. We're going to die in here."

"No, we're not. Now, sit down. Okay, take a deep breath, and just--try to chill out."

"Is that your idea of being nonconfrontational?"

"That came out wrong. I just meant--it's going to be okay."

"Right! I'm completely confident."

"It's not like we fight twenty-four-seven."

"No, of course not. Atlantis doesn't have a twenty-four-hour day."

"Rodney?"

"Sorry. This is me, sitting here calmly."

"And you're doing a great job."

"Thank you."

"We'll be out of here in no time."

"Of course we will. All we have to do is not fight with each other, right? How difficult can that be?"

"... Maybe we should just not talk for a while."

"I'm just going to sit here quietly."

"Me too. Quietly. I like quiet."

"... I don't really think you suck, you know. Not constantly, anyway."

"Thank you. I don't really think you lack charm. Not entirely."

"... We're not going to tell Elizabeth about this, are we?"

"Are you kidding me? We'd end up stuffed in a supply closet together halfway through every briefing."

Comments

Re: ::obligingly::

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

What? No! Stop that! Too many WIPs, not enough hours in the day! ::shakes her fist at zoot::